Unresolved Childhood trauma

Would you ever think as an adult childhood trauma would effect you? I wouldn’t but it has in the worst way.

Some days I wake up with migraine headaches because I am upset. I have no reason to feel upset. I have a Career, Home, Car and all the worldly things I am suppose to have. I’m still not happy at times. As an Adult I’ve become an over achiever. It’s the only way I am seen. As a child I was very quiet. I didn’t say much because it was a lot going on and I was not celebrated. Yes, I had Birthdays and those were celebrated. Who I was as a human being was not.

Growing up in a family where domestic violence, alcoholism, physical, emotional and verbal abuse was. I didn’t get the chance to process how I felt. As children my siblings and I lived in many domestic abuse shelters. Noone asked how I felt or noone cared. We went to many different schools and never got use to living in one place and making genuine friendships because we were always on the move.

As an adult I’ve lived all over America never really finding a safe place for myself. As an adult I’ve been in abusive relationships even one that almost took my life. I’m still healing from those experiences. As an Adult I’m anxious, over worry, stress and can become very depressed and angry. The world had become an unsafe place for me so I began to push everyone away and Isolate myself. When you grow up in a unsafe home as a child all you want to do is find saftey, love and comfort. I couldn’t find it. What i didn’t realize is everyone is dealing with their own childhood trauma and trying to navigate Adult hood as well. What I know now is self love, patience, self care, compassion, empathy, God, time and Me is what I need to heal the unresolved chilhood trauma. Healing starts within but you have to unpack those traumatic moments to begin to heal and love you. It’s time to break generational curses so our children wont experience what we have survived.

I remember a few disputes as a child where the police were called to our home because of the fighting. Noone checked on us to ensure we were okay. One dispute I remember being in the closet and the police came in the house with their riffles and I was so scared saying “please dont shoot me.” No adult was there to comfort me. Another dispute on another day happened and I went to stop it and was told to go to my room. Once again no adult came to comfort me. I begin crying and talking to Jesus and God for help and they comforted me. Another time the police was called and their was so much yelling and my abused parent was hiding across the street yelling to the police “there he is, hes the one officer” and noone was there to comfort me.

Home was unsafe. I felt neglected abandoned and alone. I felt like I was in a war zone and didn’t know what would happen from day to day. I felt disconnected and men became unsafe figures in my life. As I begin to heal and as you began to heal from unresolved childhood trauma lets Thank God we survived it and are now able to create a better future for ourselves and our future families. Thank God for prayer, healing and meditation. Thank God for doctors, psychiatrist, supportive people that will help you through the healing process. I didn’t know how much unresolved childhood trauma I had until I got into a healthy relationship.

One day, one step at a time. Looking forward to this healing journey. #healing #therapy #childhoodtrauma #abuse #abandonment #neglect #domesticabuse #physicalabuse #emotionalabuse #womensupportingwomen